Long time ago, a friend had sent me an email titled 'being a mom'. Unsurprisingly, I cried when I read it.
Now that I have tasted about 3 years of being a mother, I cry out of happiness so often, I am surprised, as only a few people get to experience 'happy tears'. Like the day - when my daughter started going to school, when my son started walking, when my daughter started eating on her own, when my son looks at me , screams with happiness on seeing me :-)...there are so many such moments everyday!
But then, there are also those moments when I cry because of sadness and sometimes for helplessness for not being there for my kids...
Being a mom is anything but simple or easy!
As I evolve as a mother everyday, I feel that now it is time when I am expected to forget being just a humane (with so many weaknesses) during most of the day...I have just to be a mother - strong, patient, wise - an epitome of what I want my kids to be.
Everyday I realize that now my life is just not my own, but belongs to two people who depend on me for everything, and on whom I depend for love! The best part of being a mother is that you never feel that there's no one to love and accept as you are. You always know that despite your short comings, there are your kids who find you lovely, beautiful, dependable etc.
When I get ready to go to office and Chunchu (my daughter) says in her own sweet way "mamma sunder (pretty)"...that makes my day...then, irrespective of whatever others might feel about my looks, I know I am looking good :-) Sometimes, in the evening, when I am tired and tell her that I need to take some rest, all she has to do is smile and kiss me lovingly, and all the day's fatigue, disappointments melt away...
Chunchu is just 2.5 yrs old, and yet she understands my emotions much more than any mature person would. She knows what I am feeling and gives me all the love and sympathy I need whenever I need! She loves me with all she has...she even tries to protect me when she feels I am hurt or sad! What a daughter she is at such a tender age!
Of course that doesn't mean that she does not behave like kids her age...she absolutely does! And then, all she wants is an understanding mom who needs to understand all her emotions and knows what she wants, while she is just crying her heart out, and doesn't seem to realize what she is crying for! She throws tantrums, cries for no reason, demands for anything and everything in the marketplace...yes, she is just like all the other kids most of the time :-)
Yet, I derive my strength from her...whenever I look at her, I feel my life is worth living.
Shiku, my son, also keeps showing in his own ways that he loves me...he competes with his sister to get my attention, he pushes her away when he feels his need of mom is more that his sis's, he throws himself at me when I look at him and lovingly call his name or sing a song for him, his eyes sparkle when he hears my voice when I return home...there are so many little ways he manifests his love for me!
Love being a mom...even with tears, moments of helplessness, sadness, happiness etc...no way I would change my life for what it has given me in the form of such loving kids :-)
Now that I have tasted about 3 years of being a mother, I cry out of happiness so often, I am surprised, as only a few people get to experience 'happy tears'. Like the day - when my daughter started going to school, when my son started walking, when my daughter started eating on her own, when my son looks at me , screams with happiness on seeing me :-)...there are so many such moments everyday!
But then, there are also those moments when I cry because of sadness and sometimes for helplessness for not being there for my kids...
Being a mom is anything but simple or easy!
As I evolve as a mother everyday, I feel that now it is time when I am expected to forget being just a humane (with so many weaknesses) during most of the day...I have just to be a mother - strong, patient, wise - an epitome of what I want my kids to be.
Everyday I realize that now my life is just not my own, but belongs to two people who depend on me for everything, and on whom I depend for love! The best part of being a mother is that you never feel that there's no one to love and accept as you are. You always know that despite your short comings, there are your kids who find you lovely, beautiful, dependable etc.
When I get ready to go to office and Chunchu (my daughter) says in her own sweet way "mamma sunder (pretty)"...that makes my day...then, irrespective of whatever others might feel about my looks, I know I am looking good :-) Sometimes, in the evening, when I am tired and tell her that I need to take some rest, all she has to do is smile and kiss me lovingly, and all the day's fatigue, disappointments melt away...
Chunchu is just 2.5 yrs old, and yet she understands my emotions much more than any mature person would. She knows what I am feeling and gives me all the love and sympathy I need whenever I need! She loves me with all she has...she even tries to protect me when she feels I am hurt or sad! What a daughter she is at such a tender age!
Of course that doesn't mean that she does not behave like kids her age...she absolutely does! And then, all she wants is an understanding mom who needs to understand all her emotions and knows what she wants, while she is just crying her heart out, and doesn't seem to realize what she is crying for! She throws tantrums, cries for no reason, demands for anything and everything in the marketplace...yes, she is just like all the other kids most of the time :-)
Yet, I derive my strength from her...whenever I look at her, I feel my life is worth living.
Shiku, my son, also keeps showing in his own ways that he loves me...he competes with his sister to get my attention, he pushes her away when he feels his need of mom is more that his sis's, he throws himself at me when I look at him and lovingly call his name or sing a song for him, his eyes sparkle when he hears my voice when I return home...there are so many little ways he manifests his love for me!
Love being a mom...even with tears, moments of helplessness, sadness, happiness etc...no way I would change my life for what it has given me in the form of such loving kids :-)
