26 September...Chunchu turned 4 :-) The last 4 years have been amazing with her. Motherhood is nothing short of a roller coaster ride. They say you experience emotional turmoil in love...but I have experienced such varied emotions being a mother that I do not even remember how life was before Chunchu and Shiku became a part of it. How beautiful is it to have someone love you the way no one else can...my children have shown me the true meaning of love and life. They love me despite my weaknesses and despite whatever anyone else feels for me. They don't feel anything but love for me...I wish it lasts forever! I know there will be times when during their growing up years, we will have arguments, difference of opinions and even fights sometimes, but I pray that the underlying love lives forever.
Chunchu is the symbol of immense joy in my life. If it was not for her, I probably would not have the desire to fight for my life that fateful night when I saw death so close. I still remember when I was being wheeled into the ICU, all I said to my husband was "take good care of my Chunchu." I had never known anything like what I felt then before. Of course, now both the children are a part of me that I am not ready to give up on this most wonderful aspect of my being...how much ever tough life gets, whatever it has in store for me.
Yesterday, the celebration went very well. Chunchu got very nice gifts from everyone...so many people dote on her! She was very happy. And most of them gave something to Shiku as well, to let him feel important too :-) Kids are so sweet...both of them were so pleased with the celebration, with that fact that we adults were trying to be children with them and we all had good fun. All of us wore little masks, scraped the cake from the plate directly, and basically let ourselves enjoy. I think if all adults could be more like kids several times during the day, how much simpler the life would be :-)
Whenever I think of the long time I have waited for Chunchu to be born, how many times I have prayed for her health and happiness; and how many times I have felt proud and grateful for her love, I feel nothing else matters. Chunchu is that ray of light which drives away all the darkness; she is that smile that wipes away all tears; and she is that joy that makes everything in life meaningful. I do not have words to describe what she means to me, but just that I am incomplete without her! (Actually, without Shiku too...but I will describe that in another post...after all this is for Chunchu).
This post is probably very emotional, but today I am overwhelmed...I thank God for giving me the joys of motherhood. And, I wish my kids grow up to be very good, strong, compassionate and loving people. May God grant them health, happiness and prosperity always.
Monday, September 27, 2010
Saturday, September 11, 2010
Shiku's Innocence gives an Important Lesson
Shiku did something very sweet and innocent today, and I want to record it here.
He was playing with his toys...he took one plastic glass and covered and it and showed it to Manjusha saying, "Akku aasi(maasi), see tower!" Manjusha replied, "Baby only one thing cannot make it a tower, you have to put something on top of it for that." Now, what Shiku did next was amazingly nice...he took a piece of paper, and put it on top of his 'tower', with so much sincerity, as if that solved the problem. Of course, he did what he was asked to do...it's not his fault the instruction was not clear enough!
That got me thinking...isn't our mind exactly the same? And, aren't we giving it similar unclear instructions. For example, when I am in pain, I keep saying, "Oh God, I am having so much pain, I can't..." etc. Of when I want something, what do I say? "I wish I could have that...why don't I have it...why can't I..." etc. So, what does my mind understand? That I am in pain, I can't have something. So what does it do...it makes me feel the pain more. 'I can't have that thing I desire' gets written down into my mind! So what do I get?
I remember someone once said to me, "Our mind is like a computer. What you instruct it to do, that's what you get!" So, what should I instruct my mind to do?
I should perhaps try saying, "I am thankful that I have X and have the wisdom and will to work to get Y...". Many a times, it works. These days, I have observed this kind of thing working for small things...wishing for rain, or a clear sky, for small things troubling me to get resolved etc. Of course, I have to work a lot to think like that all the time...at least I have begun :-)
And, I wish Chunchu and Shiku keep reminding me such important lessons and of course, keep learning themselves :-)
He was playing with his toys...he took one plastic glass and covered and it and showed it to Manjusha saying, "Akku aasi(maasi), see tower!" Manjusha replied, "Baby only one thing cannot make it a tower, you have to put something on top of it for that." Now, what Shiku did next was amazingly nice...he took a piece of paper, and put it on top of his 'tower', with so much sincerity, as if that solved the problem. Of course, he did what he was asked to do...it's not his fault the instruction was not clear enough!
That got me thinking...isn't our mind exactly the same? And, aren't we giving it similar unclear instructions. For example, when I am in pain, I keep saying, "Oh God, I am having so much pain, I can't..." etc. Of when I want something, what do I say? "I wish I could have that...why don't I have it...why can't I..." etc. So, what does my mind understand? That I am in pain, I can't have something. So what does it do...it makes me feel the pain more. 'I can't have that thing I desire' gets written down into my mind! So what do I get?
I remember someone once said to me, "Our mind is like a computer. What you instruct it to do, that's what you get!" So, what should I instruct my mind to do?
I should perhaps try saying, "I am thankful that I have X and have the wisdom and will to work to get Y...". Many a times, it works. These days, I have observed this kind of thing working for small things...wishing for rain, or a clear sky, for small things troubling me to get resolved etc. Of course, I have to work a lot to think like that all the time...at least I have begun :-)
And, I wish Chunchu and Shiku keep reminding me such important lessons and of course, keep learning themselves :-)
Sunday, August 1, 2010
Peace in Forgiveness
(Reproduction of my article in 'The Woman')
We all go through tough times in our lifetimes. Many a times, the grief has been brought upon by someone close to us, causing a lot of frustration and anger to reside within us. If these emotions dwell inside a mind for too long, they end up spoiling the strength and peace of that person. So it is always best to get rid of anger, to forgive the ones who hurt you.
Easier said than done, many would argue. Yes, it is really tough to forgive someone without venting out what you might be holding inside you; without saying what you ought to have said (of course, to get back); and without pointing fingers and hurting them in return. But before you get onto such a path, do ask yourself what the higher gain would be, from such an endeavor. Will you achieve peace or joy? I am sure you will not. When you start to take a step towards blaming others for your sorrows and your state of mind, unfortunately, you are handing them the control of your emotions. Then, you would never find peace until that person completely disappears from the face of earth. Even then, you might end up wishing them to be around to vent out more of your anger onto them. The cycle of pain and accusations would go on.
So, if your ultimate aim is finding peace for yourself, the only key is forgiveness. There might be a long time before you can forgive someone who has betrayed your trust, who has manipulated your feelings, and who has never given you what you deserved. But then, constantly hating them for their actions would still keep you connected to them in a way. Would it not be better to break all relation to people who have caused hurt, even that of hatred or anger? Chetan Bhagat describes it so perfectly in his book ‘Two States’- Forgiveness does not do anything to the wrong doer, but it makes a lot of difference to the sufferer by reducing the baggage they carry on their heads all the time.
Try this simple exercise to know yourself how much difference it would make to your attitude if you learned to forgive. When you are hurt and angry, and you start thinking about the object of your hatred, record the time that those ugly thoughts stay in your mind. Do this for a day. You will be shocked at the result. And now, think of all the constructive things you could have done with that time, had you spent it in a better way.
So next time you feel like cursing someone, observe yourself. Focus on the changes that your body undergoes – change in your breathing, your eyes narrowing, may be reddening of your face. Also, observe what your mind feels afterwards. It feels more irritable, more restless. There is no lifting of baggage, contrary to popular belief. In fact, thinking such negative thoughts about someone actually attracts more negativity hence strengthening the anger and increasing the emotional wreckage. Sometimes, when we vent out negative things by talking about them, we may feel a temporary relief. But soon afterwards, the feelings return, sometimes even with a greater force.
Hence, the best therapy for anger is forgiveness. Whatever someone may have done to you, how much ever times it takes you to accept the situation, yet in the end you have to forgive and then only, you can be at peace. Forgiveness might be tough, but is not impossible to achieve. All you have to do is be aware of the feeling of hatred as soon as it touches you. Then, you have to tell yourself that it is OK to feel hatred but you are not supposed to hang on to that feeling. At that moment, think of some moment of love with someone who still cares for you, or a moment of achievement that gave you real happiness. The hatred will melt away in its own shadow. With practice, you might start associating these good feelings with the person who hurt you and will be able to forgive them, eventually. And with time, that wrong doer will not be able to evoke any negative emotions in you, and you will be able to think about the past without any anger or frustration. Some day, you might even talk about it and not be affected by it. That would be the ultimate peace. After all, forgiveness is the attribute of strong.
We all go through tough times in our lifetimes. Many a times, the grief has been brought upon by someone close to us, causing a lot of frustration and anger to reside within us. If these emotions dwell inside a mind for too long, they end up spoiling the strength and peace of that person. So it is always best to get rid of anger, to forgive the ones who hurt you.
Easier said than done, many would argue. Yes, it is really tough to forgive someone without venting out what you might be holding inside you; without saying what you ought to have said (of course, to get back); and without pointing fingers and hurting them in return. But before you get onto such a path, do ask yourself what the higher gain would be, from such an endeavor. Will you achieve peace or joy? I am sure you will not. When you start to take a step towards blaming others for your sorrows and your state of mind, unfortunately, you are handing them the control of your emotions. Then, you would never find peace until that person completely disappears from the face of earth. Even then, you might end up wishing them to be around to vent out more of your anger onto them. The cycle of pain and accusations would go on.
So, if your ultimate aim is finding peace for yourself, the only key is forgiveness. There might be a long time before you can forgive someone who has betrayed your trust, who has manipulated your feelings, and who has never given you what you deserved. But then, constantly hating them for their actions would still keep you connected to them in a way. Would it not be better to break all relation to people who have caused hurt, even that of hatred or anger? Chetan Bhagat describes it so perfectly in his book ‘Two States’- Forgiveness does not do anything to the wrong doer, but it makes a lot of difference to the sufferer by reducing the baggage they carry on their heads all the time.
Try this simple exercise to know yourself how much difference it would make to your attitude if you learned to forgive. When you are hurt and angry, and you start thinking about the object of your hatred, record the time that those ugly thoughts stay in your mind. Do this for a day. You will be shocked at the result. And now, think of all the constructive things you could have done with that time, had you spent it in a better way.
So next time you feel like cursing someone, observe yourself. Focus on the changes that your body undergoes – change in your breathing, your eyes narrowing, may be reddening of your face. Also, observe what your mind feels afterwards. It feels more irritable, more restless. There is no lifting of baggage, contrary to popular belief. In fact, thinking such negative thoughts about someone actually attracts more negativity hence strengthening the anger and increasing the emotional wreckage. Sometimes, when we vent out negative things by talking about them, we may feel a temporary relief. But soon afterwards, the feelings return, sometimes even with a greater force.
Hence, the best therapy for anger is forgiveness. Whatever someone may have done to you, how much ever times it takes you to accept the situation, yet in the end you have to forgive and then only, you can be at peace. Forgiveness might be tough, but is not impossible to achieve. All you have to do is be aware of the feeling of hatred as soon as it touches you. Then, you have to tell yourself that it is OK to feel hatred but you are not supposed to hang on to that feeling. At that moment, think of some moment of love with someone who still cares for you, or a moment of achievement that gave you real happiness. The hatred will melt away in its own shadow. With practice, you might start associating these good feelings with the person who hurt you and will be able to forgive them, eventually. And with time, that wrong doer will not be able to evoke any negative emotions in you, and you will be able to think about the past without any anger or frustration. Some day, you might even talk about it and not be affected by it. That would be the ultimate peace. After all, forgiveness is the attribute of strong.
Friday, July 30, 2010
Chunchu got a Prize
Yesterday, Chunchu had a poetry recital competition at her school. The poem was supposed to be in Hindi and at least 8 lines long. So I chose "Chunnu Munnu the do bhai..." for her.
She liked it so much that she got the hang of it within a couple of days. She practised and really recited it nicely. But she was not able to say 'rasgulla'. Anyway she sounded cute with her mispronunciation.
So, yesterday she stood on a stage and recited the poem into a mike, in front of everyone at school. I was secretly worried she would be too shy to do that, but she surprised me. And she was very happy when she returned home. She told me how everything happened. She said everyone had applauded her after her performance, so she felt very glad. Well, I felt proud of her!
Today, her teacher informed us that she had won the second prize and would be receiving the same on stage on her school's Annual day function. I almost cried with pride. I felt so happy. Such little achievements of a child matter so much to parents! But sadly, she did not share my enthusiasm. Rather, she started crying why she did not come first!!!! I had to convince her that even second was good and that she did very well; and that I was so proud of her. After a while, I realized she did not understand that second was next to first. So then I told her second means being number 2 out of many children at her school. Then, she felt fine. But still, she kept insisting she wanted to be first. So I told her that she could try harder next time for a first prize :-)
This is Chunchu's first ever win and I feel glad. I wish there would be many such occasions in life when I can be proud of her, and she could be proud of herself too.
She liked it so much that she got the hang of it within a couple of days. She practised and really recited it nicely. But she was not able to say 'rasgulla'. Anyway she sounded cute with her mispronunciation.
So, yesterday she stood on a stage and recited the poem into a mike, in front of everyone at school. I was secretly worried she would be too shy to do that, but she surprised me. And she was very happy when she returned home. She told me how everything happened. She said everyone had applauded her after her performance, so she felt very glad. Well, I felt proud of her!
Today, her teacher informed us that she had won the second prize and would be receiving the same on stage on her school's Annual day function. I almost cried with pride. I felt so happy. Such little achievements of a child matter so much to parents! But sadly, she did not share my enthusiasm. Rather, she started crying why she did not come first!!!! I had to convince her that even second was good and that she did very well; and that I was so proud of her. After a while, I realized she did not understand that second was next to first. So then I told her second means being number 2 out of many children at her school. Then, she felt fine. But still, she kept insisting she wanted to be first. So I told her that she could try harder next time for a first prize :-)
This is Chunchu's first ever win and I feel glad. I wish there would be many such occasions in life when I can be proud of her, and she could be proud of herself too.
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Interview, ketchup stain, and everyday life
When you don't even realize until you are 5 minutes away from the interview venue that you have a ketchup stain on your shirt...and when you don't know that you forgot the notes you were studying from, until the last minute...that's the ways of a mother :-)
Yes, I had an interview and my little angel had her coloring competition. The fact that she got a certificate (her first ever!) for the same was even more rewarding than the fact that I have been given a green signal for the next round!
While both of us were getting ready for our respective activities for the morning, Shiku kept insisting that he wanted to 'ulol' (i.e. color) too!
Wow...sometimes I just don't have enough words to express the kind of wonders I experience day in and day out with my little kids around. It is amazing how Shiku keeps increasing his vocabulary still sticking with his basic style - keeping the first consonant silent! So, mamma becomes amma; didi becomes adi (or unchu didi for chunchu didi); Siddhartha becomes ida and sometimes iddhartha; masi becomes aasi and so on. He can say the same consonant when it is not the first letter of the first word in his sentences.
Sometimes, you wonder - life seems too busy and sometimes tiring as the kids need you all the time. They are so dependent on you for small things. But you get scared thinking of the time when they no longer will be. Would you feel unwanted then? May be there will be other ways in which you'll have to care for them, but this dependence on you will definitely change.
Today Chunchu cried when she thought I won't come home till evening, but what will happen when she wouldn't care anymore if I was there at home or not? When long hours with books/phone/Internet will keep her too busy to worry about the time I will be back home...or when the kids will not need me to feed them, narrate a story to them, sing a lullaby to them...how I will miss this time!
Sometimes, when I have lots to do, and Chunchu and Shiku are simultaneously asking for my attention, these thoughts help me keep trying to maintain a balance...between their instant 'spur-of-the-moment' wishes and my 'can-be-postponed' needs.
This thought keeps coming to my mind every now and then...wish God gave me super powers so that I could be at two places at one time, or I would not need to rest/sleep..ohh I wish!
Yes, I had an interview and my little angel had her coloring competition. The fact that she got a certificate (her first ever!) for the same was even more rewarding than the fact that I have been given a green signal for the next round!
While both of us were getting ready for our respective activities for the morning, Shiku kept insisting that he wanted to 'ulol' (i.e. color) too!
Wow...sometimes I just don't have enough words to express the kind of wonders I experience day in and day out with my little kids around. It is amazing how Shiku keeps increasing his vocabulary still sticking with his basic style - keeping the first consonant silent! So, mamma becomes amma; didi becomes adi (or unchu didi for chunchu didi); Siddhartha becomes ida and sometimes iddhartha; masi becomes aasi and so on. He can say the same consonant when it is not the first letter of the first word in his sentences.
Sometimes, you wonder - life seems too busy and sometimes tiring as the kids need you all the time. They are so dependent on you for small things. But you get scared thinking of the time when they no longer will be. Would you feel unwanted then? May be there will be other ways in which you'll have to care for them, but this dependence on you will definitely change.
Today Chunchu cried when she thought I won't come home till evening, but what will happen when she wouldn't care anymore if I was there at home or not? When long hours with books/phone/Internet will keep her too busy to worry about the time I will be back home...or when the kids will not need me to feed them, narrate a story to them, sing a lullaby to them...how I will miss this time!
Sometimes, when I have lots to do, and Chunchu and Shiku are simultaneously asking for my attention, these thoughts help me keep trying to maintain a balance...between their instant 'spur-of-the-moment' wishes and my 'can-be-postponed' needs.
This thought keeps coming to my mind every now and then...wish God gave me super powers so that I could be at two places at one time, or I would not need to rest/sleep..ohh I wish!
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
My Little Chefs and Doctors
Yes, there are two little chefs and two little doctors at my home. They keep changing their profession every hour and I am the guinea pig almost all the time. And do I love it? Well, of course! Who won't be overwhelmed with emotions when your kids are playing doctor-doctor, and treat you for anything from pain to surgery? Yes, Chunchu and Shiku are busy doing what almost all of us did when we were kids. They are role-playing their prospective professions.
When they are doctors, they diagnose a disease by first asking very professionally, "So, Manisha, what seems to be the problem with you?" Sometimes, Chunchu would say "mom" and then corrects herself, explaining to me that since she is a doctor and I am her patient, I cannot be her mom anymore :-) Then, the bro-sis duo divides the duties of checking my stats and giving me an injection to sleep! They sometimes they clean and dress an old wound, asking me all the while how I got hurt. It's so much fun seeing them copy the doctors we have visited in the past.
When they are chef, they take order first and then give suggestions to what I might like to eat and drink. One of them, then, goes on to prepare dessert, while the other cooks vegetable and chapatis. All this while, they keep asking if I would like to add pepper or spices to my food; how sweet should the dessert be; if I want a coffee or tea along with it, etc.
Well, whatever they decide to be when they grow up, I wish they are as diligent as they are while playing their parts.
Another thing requires a mention in this post. Yesterday, both of them became 'mommy' by dressing up in a saree (draped using dupatta), though I rarely wear one. But they looked damn cute, walking and talking like a grown up lady :-) Of course, I kept telling Shiku he cannot be a mom in real life!
When they are doctors, they diagnose a disease by first asking very professionally, "So, Manisha, what seems to be the problem with you?" Sometimes, Chunchu would say "mom" and then corrects herself, explaining to me that since she is a doctor and I am her patient, I cannot be her mom anymore :-) Then, the bro-sis duo divides the duties of checking my stats and giving me an injection to sleep! They sometimes they clean and dress an old wound, asking me all the while how I got hurt. It's so much fun seeing them copy the doctors we have visited in the past.
When they are chef, they take order first and then give suggestions to what I might like to eat and drink. One of them, then, goes on to prepare dessert, while the other cooks vegetable and chapatis. All this while, they keep asking if I would like to add pepper or spices to my food; how sweet should the dessert be; if I want a coffee or tea along with it, etc.
Well, whatever they decide to be when they grow up, I wish they are as diligent as they are while playing their parts.
Another thing requires a mention in this post. Yesterday, both of them became 'mommy' by dressing up in a saree (draped using dupatta), though I rarely wear one. But they looked damn cute, walking and talking like a grown up lady :-) Of course, I kept telling Shiku he cannot be a mom in real life!
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Getting Drenched in Rain!
Rain is always refreshing; what is more uplifting is getting drenched in rain, and if you can do it with your daughter by your side, nothing can beat it!
Chunchu was a little hesitant, so I jumped in. As soon as she saw me getting wet happily, she ran to me and started to dance, run around and simply have fun while the raindrops fell on us. Before this, it wasn't a good day; too many doubts creeping into my mind. But after, I feel awesome and so refreshed. Chunchu and I played like kids, and I can say I haven't had so much fun in a while now.
We tried to entice Shiku into the madness with us, but he had just woken up from his afternoon nap, so wasn't in a mood. He tried to hide himself in my arms, as I encouraged him to enjoy the downpour. But then, he refused. That didn't stop Chunchu from continuing her fun for another 20 min.
The most amazing thing is - as Chunchu hugged me after we were inside the house again and I was feeling grateful to her bringing out the child in me, she thanked me for being a good mom. Actually, she looked around and saw I was the only mom who was out there with her child, doing the crazy thing of being one herself, so she felt it was something unusual and she ought to thank me. Well, I said to her, "I am a good mom, 'cause you are such a good daughter."
On that note, I've to get back to her. She is back to her small every day demands :-)
Chunchu was a little hesitant, so I jumped in. As soon as she saw me getting wet happily, she ran to me and started to dance, run around and simply have fun while the raindrops fell on us. Before this, it wasn't a good day; too many doubts creeping into my mind. But after, I feel awesome and so refreshed. Chunchu and I played like kids, and I can say I haven't had so much fun in a while now.
We tried to entice Shiku into the madness with us, but he had just woken up from his afternoon nap, so wasn't in a mood. He tried to hide himself in my arms, as I encouraged him to enjoy the downpour. But then, he refused. That didn't stop Chunchu from continuing her fun for another 20 min.
The most amazing thing is - as Chunchu hugged me after we were inside the house again and I was feeling grateful to her bringing out the child in me, she thanked me for being a good mom. Actually, she looked around and saw I was the only mom who was out there with her child, doing the crazy thing of being one herself, so she felt it was something unusual and she ought to thank me. Well, I said to her, "I am a good mom, 'cause you are such a good daughter."
On that note, I've to get back to her. She is back to her small every day demands :-)
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Things I Love...
It is a long list, but from the every day small things, here are some that I love the most:
- I love it when Chunchu smiles at me, even in her sleep.
- I love it when Shiku wants a bite from my plate, even though he just had his meal.
- I love it when Chunchu comes up, hugs me and says, "mom, plz hug me. I love you."
- I love it when Shiku fights to sit in my lap, if Chunchu got there first.
- I love it when Chunchu copies me and repeats the same words with same expressions, while playing the mother to her dolls.
- I love it when Shiku imitates her, and falls short 'cause all his words begin with only vowels (he can say the consonants, but doesn't).
- I love it when Chunchu suddenly tells me, "Mom you are so good".
- I love it when Shiku demands me to appreciate him if I praise Chunchu.
- I love it how they fight to get my attention, all the time (makes me feel soooo loved).
- I love it how they cuddle each-other and stand for each-other when they expect a punishment for doing some mischief.
- I love it how they are always fighting with each-other all the time, yet they are more than ready to fight with everything that hurt the other (meaning walls, floor, doors etc).
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Murder for Honor?
I was surprised, rather shocked how the newspaper now-a-days carries at least one piece of an 'honor killing' every single day! It is even a shame to call this heinous act of crime as 'honor' killing. I am sure there is no honor behind these, but just ego. Ego of those who think their children betrayed them, ego of those who have no way better to prove themselves useful to the society! For me, it is unfathomable how anyone can kill their own flesh and blood!
Since the time one becomes a parent, all he or she thinks about is how to protect their kids, how to give them everything they want, how to just be there for them. And the only worry that a parent has is 'God forbid, if something happens to my child'. How can such a parent even think of harming that very child, for whatever reasons? There is nothing in this world, no amount of sacrifice you might have done for your kids, no amount of hurt they have caused you, that justifies this act. And to top it all, such people claim to be doing good to the society!!! I simply don't get it at all.
You know what would be actually good for the society? That everyone married as per their own wishes, and many people married in different castes and religions. That would make our country truly secular and safe. The children born of these marriages would be raised as just Indians, not a Hindu, Muslim or Sikh, or a Jat, Punjabi or whatever. They would be more tolerant towards the others' beliefs. That would make a tolerant society...may be even a loving nation, without any communal differences, and riots.
May we Indians get this sooner than later and for once, start thinking beyond caste, creed and religion to stand as one nation.
Since the time one becomes a parent, all he or she thinks about is how to protect their kids, how to give them everything they want, how to just be there for them. And the only worry that a parent has is 'God forbid, if something happens to my child'. How can such a parent even think of harming that very child, for whatever reasons? There is nothing in this world, no amount of sacrifice you might have done for your kids, no amount of hurt they have caused you, that justifies this act. And to top it all, such people claim to be doing good to the society!!! I simply don't get it at all.
You know what would be actually good for the society? That everyone married as per their own wishes, and many people married in different castes and religions. That would make our country truly secular and safe. The children born of these marriages would be raised as just Indians, not a Hindu, Muslim or Sikh, or a Jat, Punjabi or whatever. They would be more tolerant towards the others' beliefs. That would make a tolerant society...may be even a loving nation, without any communal differences, and riots.
May we Indians get this sooner than later and for once, start thinking beyond caste, creed and religion to stand as one nation.
Thursday, June 24, 2010
30!
As a kid, you always wait for the milestones in your life. Like, you know, sweet sixteen, adulthood, the twenties etc. As you get older, it's just another year added to your life span. Birthdays kind of lose their charm. Yes, but they nevertheless happen. So I turned 30. Hmmm...feel old by Indian standards, but still feel as if I just started living! The day was not at all exciting, yet there were surprises. Three surprise calls, from the friends of all important phases - a school friend, a college friend and an Infy friend called unexpectedly to give their wishes, and encouragement too :-)
The greatest part though was cutting the cake, because the kids were so excited with mom's big day that they ate all the icing off the cake even before formally cutting it :-P And, the happiness they felt in doing so made me 10 years younger. The visit to the temple and gurudwara after several years made the day complete. (There was a time when I used to visit these holy places everyday!)
You know, I have traditionally done what one is expected to do in India by the time they hit 30s. I got a decent education, good work experience with known companies, got married, had kids. So, it's time to do the unconventional now! Write a book, adventure sports, learn musical instruments or professional dancing...stuff that make up the dreams! Perhaps I started dreaming late; or rather started taking my dreams seriously quite late, yet it's better late than never. And that means I have less time to realize them and hence am in kind of rush to make it all happen...phew.
Staying at home gives one a chance to think a lot, and I was anyway a brooder, so got me deep into the process. That made me realize a few things. Our growing up conditions our minds in such a way that we cannot never be really happy without feeling guilty. I guess the happiness is elusive here. It's not like that everyone cannot be happy together. If everyone started with themselves, then eventually it will spread. Of course, some people just can't take this. Like the so called saviors of morality in our society. That's for some other serious post. This one ends on the note - wishing myself a year and a lifetime of happiness, health and prosperity. And as a friend said - a wonderful career, strong and healthy kids, a lifetime of happiness!
Another wonderful wish by my little sis - may the coming years bring so much happiness, peace and success that all the hardships of last few years are wiped off.
The greatest part though was cutting the cake, because the kids were so excited with mom's big day that they ate all the icing off the cake even before formally cutting it :-P And, the happiness they felt in doing so made me 10 years younger. The visit to the temple and gurudwara after several years made the day complete. (There was a time when I used to visit these holy places everyday!)
You know, I have traditionally done what one is expected to do in India by the time they hit 30s. I got a decent education, good work experience with known companies, got married, had kids. So, it's time to do the unconventional now! Write a book, adventure sports, learn musical instruments or professional dancing...stuff that make up the dreams! Perhaps I started dreaming late; or rather started taking my dreams seriously quite late, yet it's better late than never. And that means I have less time to realize them and hence am in kind of rush to make it all happen...phew.
Staying at home gives one a chance to think a lot, and I was anyway a brooder, so got me deep into the process. That made me realize a few things. Our growing up conditions our minds in such a way that we cannot never be really happy without feeling guilty. I guess the happiness is elusive here. It's not like that everyone cannot be happy together. If everyone started with themselves, then eventually it will spread. Of course, some people just can't take this. Like the so called saviors of morality in our society. That's for some other serious post. This one ends on the note - wishing myself a year and a lifetime of happiness, health and prosperity. And as a friend said - a wonderful career, strong and healthy kids, a lifetime of happiness!
Another wonderful wish by my little sis - may the coming years bring so much happiness, peace and success that all the hardships of last few years are wiped off.
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