Thanking Chunchu

Every now and then, when there are times or moments of sadness, when I am tensed, I feel like thanking one person for the love that is bestowed upon me in those moments when it is needed the most. And that person is - my daughter Chunchu. She seems to sense even the smallest of my unhappiness and somehow, she has this art of making me feel better. She consoles me like a friend and keeps saying, "Mamma, please don't be sad. I don't like it when you are sad. Please smile." It is as if she has this connection with me to understand my feelings without saying. And I always wonder - how can a small child of just 4 years be so sensitive towards an adult's feelings? With Chunchu, it has always been like that. She has always been my strength and my friend whenever I needed one. Now, she can talk; when she couldn't, she managed to make me feel better just by her little gestures.

When Chunchu was more than a year old and I was expecting Shiku, there were days when I would be in lot of pain and was unable to do anything. Though she expected me to be around her all the time, playing with her and talking to her, yet if I asked her to let me rest for half an hour, she would nod her head. Then, she would let me lie down for the next 30 minutes without creating any noise or demanding anything from me. She would keep playing with her toys and if one of them fell, she would not ask me to pick it up, but would continue her own game for 30 min. Just about after 30 min, she would come to me, and would touch me gently, as if to tell me it that it was time for me to get up :-) I never understood how she knew what I said to her, what I meant and how she sensed the duration.

On the night Shiku was born, Chunchu clung to me and refused to let me go when I was leaving for the hospital, as if she sensed that her mom was not going to be home again soon. When I told her that I was going to bring a baby brother for her, she let me go reluctantly but she cried softly. Later that night, when I was slipping in and out of consciousness, the only thought that kept me struggling for life was that she needed me. Whenever my eyes closed and I reached into my subconscious, it was her I saw...still clinging to me. Even now, I remember the dress she was wearing that day and how she was clinging to me. It might sound far-fetched, but I feel that she was the reason I survived. I wouldn't have the will otherwise.

Then, when Chunchu was a little older, and she realized that there was something wrong with me, she would never demand me to take her in my lap, or feed her or play with her. She just knew that I needed rest and that I was too weak to continue with those normal activities. She adjusted very well to the fact that I was in pain and that she needed to stay away from me for a few months.

Even to this day, whenever I have been weak in front of Chunchu, she has always tried to help me in her own sweet way. And when someone teases her saying that her mom is not good, or anything negative about me, she retaliates. She is always ready to fight with anyone who says even the slightest negative thing about me, even when she knows it is being done playfully. She trusts me so much that if I tell her something and someone else says something opposite, she would refuse to believe that person and tell them that they are wrong since I know best :-) Well, at least one person thinks so...very flattering!

But more than that, I am overwhelmed by her behavior when she knows I am feeling low. She tries to cheer me up in her little sweet ways. On those occasions, I feel touched and proud at the same time.

I thank God for such a wonderful daughter. I see His presence in my life through her. It is said that children are His angels. I know my daughter truly is.