My brother and sister mentioned this documentary, based on a book, called 'The Secret' quite a few times and asked me to watch it if I found an opportunity. Few days ago, I did. And, I do not have words to describe how awesome it is.
When I look back at my life, I realize that everything that I have achieved has been based on this one secret - law of attraction. I kept thinking or talking about something, and the universe responded, "your wish is my command". I got every single thing that I thought about, I wanted passionately or even what I feared ( simply 'cause I spent too much time in thinking about it). When I was in school, I used to think whatever course I choose in college, I'll never be an Engineer, and that's exactly what I became. As a child, I used to say whatever I do, I will never be a teacher. Guess what, my first job was that of a lecturer in an Engineering college! Though, I loved doing it and now I really like the idea of teaching. Then, while teaching I used to think of never joining a software company; and lo & behold, there I was - in one of the best software companies of India! Of course, I have not regretted any of these experiences of my life; rather, they are really close to my heart.
Then, sometimes I did think about what I really wanted to do - like going to US for an onsite assignment & I did. I wanted to stay out of India, in a developed country, for some time and here I am, living in Qatar. I wanted a girl as a first child with so much passion that I might have not wanted anything else till now. And my first born is a daughter. Then, when I became pregnant second time, all I used to think was about having a son and I did. But secretly, I used to worry a lot about how the delivery would go and yes, I had severe complications at that time.
So, in the end, this law of attraction has never failed me in big things in my life...and I am sure, even in small day-to-day tasks if I get down to reflecting on those.
So I have decided to take good advantage of this law. From now on, I am going to apply it to achieve two of my greatest dreams - be a writer and a restaurant owner. The law has already started manifesting itself since the day I started concentrating my thoughts on my dreams - I have got an offer to do some writing in a local magazine here. And to top it, the magazine is for womenfolk, dealing with their everyday struggles & issues, providing a platform for them to express themselves etc...so another of my wishes comes true, as I have always wanted to do something for the women.
In India, not many people discuss what they are planning to do, or what they want to do, even with their nearest ones. They have a saying that if you talk too much about something to many people, you might not achieve it. And, I have seen that this is true with a number of people, but now I understand the reason. It is not because of sharing with people, it is because of worrying too much about your wish not coming true. Also, most of the times, most of the people will have a negative thing to say to any one who dare to follow their dreams. Some people get easily affected by these negative vibes/suggestions/thoughts etc. So they end up not believing themselves, but other people, and hence, are unable to succeed.
But, I am going to share what I want to achieve. And one day, in another post of mine I would be writing about how my wishes came true. Amen.
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Monday, November 16, 2009
Changing someone you love
I remember reading an article long back, with the title 'why do we hurt those whom we love the most?'. I don't remember much about the content, just that when we love someone, we start to feel that we own them and they should behave in the way we want them to, so we end up hurting them. Same happens if someone tries to enforce upon us their behavior patterns.
But, I wonder, then can you call this love? Being in love with someone does not mean that we should try to change them in any manner. Some people might say that if you try to change someone for their betterment, then that's justified. Someone said to me the other day - don't we do the same to our kids...try to change them for their good. Well, in reply to all such thoughts, I have this to say. When we try to inculcate good habits and values into our kids, it is not same as changing them. We are trying to mould them and form their character, which is not there on birth. Secondly, don't most of the parents (I am guilty too) feel that they own their kids, and it is their responsibility to 'reform' them?
Also, parents' love and a couple's love is different. When you meet a grown up person and fall in love with them, don't you fall in love with their qualities that are different from yours? Then, after sometime, why do you try to change those very qualities? My perception is that all human beings are so comfortable with what they have in them (personal virtues & vices) that they want everyone they interact with to have the same. There are two reasons for this kind of feeling of comfort - first, we have lived with ourselves all along, so naturally we are at ease with ourselves; and second, we feel we have done the best with whatever our life offered us which means that we have the necessary tools for doing the best. So initially, in a relationship, we might be attracted to opposites of us, but with time, we start to get a little uncomfortable with what is different, and we try to make it same as what we have. Hence, start our efforts to change the other person. Sometimes, our partner might flow along and the relationship continues smoothly. But other times, they do not. So start the arguments, fights etc. Though of course, this might not be the only reason for fights among couples, yet this is a huge contributor.
Good analysis and might have been stated by many authors, in many books. But does just knowing this is helpful in preventing conflicts? Well, I am afraid not. What we really need to do is to practice restraint when we have the urge to advise without being asked; and not to be judgemental. Easier said than done, though. I am still struggling. Also, just one person's efforts in this direction do not suffice. A couple is made of two people, and the working of the relation needs efforts of both.
A friend of mine once told me that if we minimize or may be forgo our expectations, then we can be at peace with ourselves. This is even tougher to achieve. But we can try. Every time you are unhappy with the way things are, just ask yourself, what is my expectation from the other person, and did I enter into this relationship with a condition that this expectation must be fulfilled. Trust me, most of the times, the answer is 'no'. So there we go. Our problem might not disappear entirely, but it will be reduced to an extent where we can try to find some other solution.
But, I wonder, then can you call this love? Being in love with someone does not mean that we should try to change them in any manner. Some people might say that if you try to change someone for their betterment, then that's justified. Someone said to me the other day - don't we do the same to our kids...try to change them for their good. Well, in reply to all such thoughts, I have this to say. When we try to inculcate good habits and values into our kids, it is not same as changing them. We are trying to mould them and form their character, which is not there on birth. Secondly, don't most of the parents (I am guilty too) feel that they own their kids, and it is their responsibility to 'reform' them?
Also, parents' love and a couple's love is different. When you meet a grown up person and fall in love with them, don't you fall in love with their qualities that are different from yours? Then, after sometime, why do you try to change those very qualities? My perception is that all human beings are so comfortable with what they have in them (personal virtues & vices) that they want everyone they interact with to have the same. There are two reasons for this kind of feeling of comfort - first, we have lived with ourselves all along, so naturally we are at ease with ourselves; and second, we feel we have done the best with whatever our life offered us which means that we have the necessary tools for doing the best. So initially, in a relationship, we might be attracted to opposites of us, but with time, we start to get a little uncomfortable with what is different, and we try to make it same as what we have. Hence, start our efforts to change the other person. Sometimes, our partner might flow along and the relationship continues smoothly. But other times, they do not. So start the arguments, fights etc. Though of course, this might not be the only reason for fights among couples, yet this is a huge contributor.
Good analysis and might have been stated by many authors, in many books. But does just knowing this is helpful in preventing conflicts? Well, I am afraid not. What we really need to do is to practice restraint when we have the urge to advise without being asked; and not to be judgemental. Easier said than done, though. I am still struggling. Also, just one person's efforts in this direction do not suffice. A couple is made of two people, and the working of the relation needs efforts of both.
A friend of mine once told me that if we minimize or may be forgo our expectations, then we can be at peace with ourselves. This is even tougher to achieve. But we can try. Every time you are unhappy with the way things are, just ask yourself, what is my expectation from the other person, and did I enter into this relationship with a condition that this expectation must be fulfilled. Trust me, most of the times, the answer is 'no'. So there we go. Our problem might not disappear entirely, but it will be reduced to an extent where we can try to find some other solution.
Monday, October 5, 2009
Chunchu's 3rd Birthday
26th September - the day my daughter turned 3. Did we celebrate it? No, 'cause she fell ill - high fever, cough etc. She was so ill that she refused to have even Maggi and juice, her all time favorites!!! Though we tried to cheer her up by cutting a small cake, and taking pictures, singing birthday song for her; it was far away from what was the plan :-( So she was at home for full week, as by the time she recovered, I came down with fever. So she went back to her play school yesterday and distributed sweets & gifts to her classmates. She looked gorgeous in her red dress!
Yesterday was one of those days when something, that you can't put your finger on, disturbs you and makes you feel sad. May be it was the fact that even in school, Chunchu's birthday was not celebrated on the day we had planned, and the way I had thought it would be. Then, a moment came when, lost in thoughts, talking to myself, I stumbled upon a truth about myself, a realization that made me feel all the more miserable. I had a feeling that somehow God has left me and I am not able to connect to Him as I could few years back. He is not guiding me anymore as He used to. And then, I developed migraine...and the whole afternoon and evening just went by in pain, taking painkillers didn't help much. So all in all, the day was not good. Yet something happened at night, which made me relook into things.
I was putting my daughter to sleep. She was almost asleep. She took my hand, caressed her cheeks with it, and then held it close to her, as if telling me that she won't let me go, ever. And, my eyes filled with tears, as I knew she was not doing it consciously, her eyes were closed and she was already asleep. At that moment, through those tears, I saw something very clear - God is showering His love upon me through her. It dawned on me that God manifests Himself in many ways, but sometimes we are too busy to notice. Then I remembered. In the evening, I had just asked Chunchu if she would always be with me. I was in so much pain that I needed her assurance! Imagine, a grown up asking a 3 year old such a question! The point is that my daughter not only assured me at that time she would always be there, but she confirmed it in her sleep also. Ohh, kids are just great. They really are a gift of God to us.
Last night, I slept very soundly, after many days.
Yesterday was one of those days when something, that you can't put your finger on, disturbs you and makes you feel sad. May be it was the fact that even in school, Chunchu's birthday was not celebrated on the day we had planned, and the way I had thought it would be. Then, a moment came when, lost in thoughts, talking to myself, I stumbled upon a truth about myself, a realization that made me feel all the more miserable. I had a feeling that somehow God has left me and I am not able to connect to Him as I could few years back. He is not guiding me anymore as He used to. And then, I developed migraine...and the whole afternoon and evening just went by in pain, taking painkillers didn't help much. So all in all, the day was not good. Yet something happened at night, which made me relook into things.
I was putting my daughter to sleep. She was almost asleep. She took my hand, caressed her cheeks with it, and then held it close to her, as if telling me that she won't let me go, ever. And, my eyes filled with tears, as I knew she was not doing it consciously, her eyes were closed and she was already asleep. At that moment, through those tears, I saw something very clear - God is showering His love upon me through her. It dawned on me that God manifests Himself in many ways, but sometimes we are too busy to notice. Then I remembered. In the evening, I had just asked Chunchu if she would always be with me. I was in so much pain that I needed her assurance! Imagine, a grown up asking a 3 year old such a question! The point is that my daughter not only assured me at that time she would always be there, but she confirmed it in her sleep also. Ohh, kids are just great. They really are a gift of God to us.
Last night, I slept very soundly, after many days.
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Being a Mom
Long time ago, a friend had sent me an email titled 'being a mom'. Unsurprisingly, I cried when I read it.
Now that I have tasted about 3 years of being a mother, I cry out of happiness so often, I am surprised, as only a few people get to experience 'happy tears'. Like the day - when my daughter started going to school, when my son started walking, when my daughter started eating on her own, when my son looks at me , screams with happiness on seeing me :-)...there are so many such moments everyday!
But then, there are also those moments when I cry because of sadness and sometimes for helplessness for not being there for my kids...
Being a mom is anything but simple or easy!
As I evolve as a mother everyday, I feel that now it is time when I am expected to forget being just a humane (with so many weaknesses) during most of the day...I have just to be a mother - strong, patient, wise - an epitome of what I want my kids to be.
Everyday I realize that now my life is just not my own, but belongs to two people who depend on me for everything, and on whom I depend for love! The best part of being a mother is that you never feel that there's no one to love and accept as you are. You always know that despite your short comings, there are your kids who find you lovely, beautiful, dependable etc.
When I get ready to go to office and Chunchu (my daughter) says in her own sweet way "mamma sunder (pretty)"...that makes my day...then, irrespective of whatever others might feel about my looks, I know I am looking good :-) Sometimes, in the evening, when I am tired and tell her that I need to take some rest, all she has to do is smile and kiss me lovingly, and all the day's fatigue, disappointments melt away...
Chunchu is just 2.5 yrs old, and yet she understands my emotions much more than any mature person would. She knows what I am feeling and gives me all the love and sympathy I need whenever I need! She loves me with all she has...she even tries to protect me when she feels I am hurt or sad! What a daughter she is at such a tender age!
Of course that doesn't mean that she does not behave like kids her age...she absolutely does! And then, all she wants is an understanding mom who needs to understand all her emotions and knows what she wants, while she is just crying her heart out, and doesn't seem to realize what she is crying for! She throws tantrums, cries for no reason, demands for anything and everything in the marketplace...yes, she is just like all the other kids most of the time :-)
Yet, I derive my strength from her...whenever I look at her, I feel my life is worth living.
Shiku, my son, also keeps showing in his own ways that he loves me...he competes with his sister to get my attention, he pushes her away when he feels his need of mom is more that his sis's, he throws himself at me when I look at him and lovingly call his name or sing a song for him, his eyes sparkle when he hears my voice when I return home...there are so many little ways he manifests his love for me!
Love being a mom...even with tears, moments of helplessness, sadness, happiness etc...no way I would change my life for what it has given me in the form of such loving kids :-)
Now that I have tasted about 3 years of being a mother, I cry out of happiness so often, I am surprised, as only a few people get to experience 'happy tears'. Like the day - when my daughter started going to school, when my son started walking, when my daughter started eating on her own, when my son looks at me , screams with happiness on seeing me :-)...there are so many such moments everyday!
But then, there are also those moments when I cry because of sadness and sometimes for helplessness for not being there for my kids...
Being a mom is anything but simple or easy!
As I evolve as a mother everyday, I feel that now it is time when I am expected to forget being just a humane (with so many weaknesses) during most of the day...I have just to be a mother - strong, patient, wise - an epitome of what I want my kids to be.
Everyday I realize that now my life is just not my own, but belongs to two people who depend on me for everything, and on whom I depend for love! The best part of being a mother is that you never feel that there's no one to love and accept as you are. You always know that despite your short comings, there are your kids who find you lovely, beautiful, dependable etc.
When I get ready to go to office and Chunchu (my daughter) says in her own sweet way "mamma sunder (pretty)"...that makes my day...then, irrespective of whatever others might feel about my looks, I know I am looking good :-) Sometimes, in the evening, when I am tired and tell her that I need to take some rest, all she has to do is smile and kiss me lovingly, and all the day's fatigue, disappointments melt away...
Chunchu is just 2.5 yrs old, and yet she understands my emotions much more than any mature person would. She knows what I am feeling and gives me all the love and sympathy I need whenever I need! She loves me with all she has...she even tries to protect me when she feels I am hurt or sad! What a daughter she is at such a tender age!
Of course that doesn't mean that she does not behave like kids her age...she absolutely does! And then, all she wants is an understanding mom who needs to understand all her emotions and knows what she wants, while she is just crying her heart out, and doesn't seem to realize what she is crying for! She throws tantrums, cries for no reason, demands for anything and everything in the marketplace...yes, she is just like all the other kids most of the time :-)
Yet, I derive my strength from her...whenever I look at her, I feel my life is worth living.
Shiku, my son, also keeps showing in his own ways that he loves me...he competes with his sister to get my attention, he pushes her away when he feels his need of mom is more that his sis's, he throws himself at me when I look at him and lovingly call his name or sing a song for him, his eyes sparkle when he hears my voice when I return home...there are so many little ways he manifests his love for me!
Love being a mom...even with tears, moments of helplessness, sadness, happiness etc...no way I would change my life for what it has given me in the form of such loving kids :-)
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